Spiritual Winner by: Jenai Dulaney

even when my hands too tired to hold on my heart wont let go.
im physically exhausted with feelin this way but spiritually my love will never fade.
maybe im committed to somethin make-believe
but why would my heart fight for what could never be?
every day im at war with emotions over mentality,
do i embrace the things i feel or only take chance with reality?
i wont lie, it kills me inside that what i want dont come easy
but i been standin here wide open just hopin that god sees me.
i pray every night he hears me, i know i sound redundant
and trust me i am thankful because his blessings are abundant.
i can get a little side tracked when my affection deepens,
the more that i daydream the more my focus starts to weaken.
my vision gets a little blurry, sensitivity brings tears to my eyes
but the pain is washed away once they all begin to dry.
each time i break down i get a little stronger,
im a woman with a purpose, wont be strugglin much longer.
with the help of my haters ive built my faith,
ill be damned if i give up or be told its "too late"

Patience by: Jenai Dulaney

lord knows i been persistent and i been patient cuz im still waitin.
i been watchin and i peep game that all these niggas are the same.
and i say "nigga" metaphorically because a real man would adore me.
when i say "me" i mean a real woman whos never scared and never runnin.
take my pride? yeah, they try. but they cant touch nothin i hold inside.
they can only break me if i let them make me and by "make" me i mean portray me. im no gimmick, just charismatic. all the attention? shit, you can have it!
i need somethin i can feel, id rather have a life, friends and love thats real.
when i say "real" im talkin the good the bad the happy the sad
and still be the best somebody's ever had.
and i mean "best" as in better than the rest,
no comparison everything more & nothing less.
i dont think you understand how long ive been waitin,
but ima keep holdin on, like i said i been patient.

Hip Hop Lover by: Jenai Dulaney

i dont know much about her
but i know hes in love,
she brings a smile to his face when its her he's thinkin of.
what would he do without her im not sure he even knows,
she'll always be there because their bond will only grow.
i know hes committed- he aint hit it & quit it,
hes been stuck since the first time he ever ripped it.
when the world bring him down she keep him on his feet,
she his number one so she impossible to beat.
he dont want no one to have her he will never let her go,
he wont let them take her from him since shes all that he know.
whenever somethin happens hes at her location,
he reaches deep inside and she provides the inspiration.
he dont want no one else i can see shes all he need.
i just wish i was hip-hop, then hed be in love with me.

Mirror by: Jenai Dulaney

as i look in to the mirror, im in love with what i see
im not just intrigued by beauty, but who ive grown to be.
i dont see the same person as yall do when you look at me
you see what is physical, i view myself mentally.
only i know what i feel and you should feel free to disagree,
but who i am today is not the same person i used to be.
as far as i can remember i could only count on me,
didnt have no one to turn to; no close friends or family.
mom was always gone earning funds on account of me,
so i talked to the four walls that always surrounded me.
had not a single piece of furniture, no bed or TV
managed to stay fed but cant remember what i had to eat.
no matter the circumstance i knew how to take care of me
not to discredit my mother, she just had somewhere to be.
whenever i saw my mom i told her shed always have me
and reminded her she didnt need a man to be happy.
i would help her make it through it all by myself, gladly
and i did just that without a so-called daddy,
i swear i used to hate it when people talked shit about me
now i understand they aint talkin bout shit without me
and its always gon be someone thatll forever doubt me.
but ima prove them wrong and i shall do it proudly.
i stay astray from the negative vibes yall try to send me
i know its all apart of the plan to try and end me
its crazy to see the people some of us choose to envy
if you jealous then you just mad cuz you look in the mirror and feel empty.

Birds of a Feather...

Yup, thats right... birds of a feather flock together. i couldnt agree more. the people you hang out with are usually the people you have the most in common with which is why you became friends in the first place. friendships ARE relationships without the romance. so if you want a good friend, take a second to stand back and recognize what your "friends" are all about. dont be so naive that you think because youre always there everyone else will be too. that isnt how the world operates, trust me! if that was the case, the few good people that probably exist in your life would never get hurt.

i learned a lot today about numerology and how numbers work with people. i find that stuff interesting enough to believe it. youre either compatible with a person or youre not. in life you are destined to be somethin you have no control over, either way you look at it... thats what you were SUPPOSED to be. the people you meet, no matter how big or small of a role they play in your life, were meant to cross your path. you learn from these people, you love these people, or you resent these people. all in all, you get an idea of who you are and why you turned out that way with the people you meet. life's lessons arent always obvious, but the purpose is in your face. you just have to be willing to recognize its reasoning.

when you find it hard to be friends with a person, they probably arent supposed to be categorized as a "friend". associates are cool, but not everyone you meet and know on a first & last name basis is your FRIEND. a friend is someone who is there for you no matter the situation, you dont have to call on them they usually know when youre in need, and they dont judge you. if judgment comes into play, then that might be a sign he/she isnt the person you need to be calling a friend. most importantly, being honest doesnt come hard for true friends. you can go back and forth as much as you like and say that you always rekindle your friendship even when its at its worst but honestly... would a FRIEND put you through that more than once? or let alone at all? nah, i dont think so.

if you have to question a persons motive in your life, the real question is why should you still be holding on? POW!

Poppin' the blog cherry.

Ill skip all the junk about this being my first blog and just get straight to the point...

If you dont like to hear other people's opinions, especially mine, this aint the place for you! But if youre interested in what I have to say for some reason, keep on readin. I apologize in advance if I offend anyone with the things I say, im not here to crush your feelings. Im here to entertain you with a day in the life of Jenai Dulaney (or Naykid as people refuse to quit calling me). Still think youre interested? Your call...

QUESTION OF THE DAY: What makes you love someone?

Yea yea yea- I know, "why do girls always want to talk about LOVE?". well, i only ask because everyone has their own insight. I dont think I know two people who's ever loved all the exact same things about each other. The reason I love someone is probably NOT the reason they love me (if they even love me at all). Then again that's another question ive always wondered. How can you truly love someone without being loved in return? I mean honestly, that has to feel like shit! Im not saying all the boys ive had feelings for liked me in return, but if im going to add "LOVE" to the equation, i know i better be getting some of that love back!
So what seems to be my type? hmm I actually dont "prefer" types, but it seems i am drawn to the following (and not intentionally, thanks!)...

1) bad boys
2) musically inclined
3) class clowns/humorous
4) over protective
5) argumentative
6) mama's boys
7) light skinned
8) scrawny/not so built
9) mr. popular
10)cheaters

basically in a nutshell, its time to edit the list and cut some of these traits loose. Ladies, if your list has been the same for quite some years and you still havent settled down with mr. right, i suggest you do the same b/c your so-called "type" might be the opposite of what you really need. Think about it!

Anyway, I wont post too much bullshit for one night. It's getting late and my R&B Slowjam playlist is calling my name. Until next time...